I know you’re all waiting with bated breath for the results of my four day diet. Well, Here they are:
Nothing really happened. Which sucks. I SUPPOSE I lost an inch off my waist and like 3 lbs but I fluctuate within an inch and three pounds on the regular so I don’t count that as any real difference. Which disappoints me because even though I know you can’t get permanent results in four days I did hope that cutting out all salt would reduce enough bloat to be considered kind of a “quick fix” for “special occasions”, I.E. drinking at a hotel pool bar all day, but no such luck. The only difference I see in my before and after pictures lays in the fact that I ran out of my Jergins Natural Glow lotion on Sunday and haven’t bought any since, so I’m a lot paler than I was four days ago. So at least we know Jergins Natural Glow Lotion works!
abearfoot asked: Four day diet? What's involved? I think I could do four days of no drinking. If we're talking Monday through Thursday, of course.
The diet is taken from Prevention Magazine’s “The Flat Belly Diet” which pretty much just incorporates eating 400 calorie meals that include one serving of Monounsaturated Fatty Acid (Nuts, Olives, Olive Oil, Avocado, or Dark Chocolate). I pretty much like it becuase I can still have Chipotle on it. However, the “Four Day Jumpstart” is a really restricted calorie meal plan that involves no salt, no caffeine, no alcohol, no carbonated drinks, no anything fun at all. The meals are below (“Sassy Water” is just water with Lemon, Mint, Ginger, and Cucumber. It’s supposed to soothe your GI tract and is actually quite delightful):
The Meal Plan
Breakfast: 1c. unsweetened cornflakes, 1 c. skim milk, 1/2 c. unsweetened applesauce, 1/2c. raw unsalted sunflower seeds, glass of sassy water
Lunch: 4 oz. Applegate Farms antibiotic-free honey maple turkey, rolled up; 1 light string cheese, 1 pint fresh grape tomatoes, glass of sassy water
Smoothie: Blueberry smoothie. Place 1 c. skim milk and 1 c. frozen unsweetened blueberries in blender and blend for 1 minute. Transfer to glass and stir in 1 Tbsp cold-pressed organic flaxseed oil
Dinner: 1 c. fresh or frozen cooked green beans (steamed of microwaved), 4oz. tilapia, 1/2 c. roaster red potatoes drizzled with 1 tsp. olive oil, glass of sassy water
Breakfast: 1c. Rice Krispies, 1 c. skim milk, 1/4c. sunflower seeds, 4oz. pineapple tidbits canned in juice, glass of sassy water
Lunch: 3oz. chunk light tuna in water, 1 c. steamed or microwaved baby carrots, 1 light string cheese, glass of sassy water
Smoothie: Pineapple smoothie. Place 1 c skim milk, 4 oz. canned pineapple tidbits in blender, add a handful of ice and whip for 1 minute. Transfer to glass, and stir in 1 Tbsp cold-pressed organic flaxseed oil
Dinner: 1c. fresh crimini mushrooms sauteed with 1 tsp olive oil, 3 oz. grilled chicken breast, 1/2 c. steamed brown rice, glass of sassy water
Breakfast: 1 c. unsweetened cornflakes, 1 c. skim milk, 1/4 c. sunflower seeks, 2 Tbsp. raisins, glass of sassy water
Lunch: same as day 1
Smoothie (peach) Place 1 c. skim milk and 1 c. frozen, unsweetened peaches in blender and blend for 1 minute. Transfer to glass and stir in 2 tsp flaxseed oil.
Dinner: 1 c. fresh or frozen cooked green beans (steamed or microwaved), 3 oz. grilled or baked turkey breast cutlet, 1/2 c. roasted red potatoes drizzled with 1 tsp. olive oil, sassy water
Breakfast: 1 packet instant Cream of Wheat, 1c. skim milk, 1/4c. sunflower seeds, 2 Sunsweet Ones Dried Plums, sassy water
Lunch: same as day 1, but sub steamed carrots for grape tomatoes
Smoothie (strawberry); Combine 1 c. skim milk and 1 c. frozen, un-sweetened strawberries in blender. Blend, transfer to glass and stir in 2 tsp flaxseed oil
Dinner: 1c. fresh or frozen yellow squash sauteed with 1 tsp olive oil, 3 oz. chicken breast, 1/2c. steamed brown rice, sassy water
I’ve only completed day two. The smoothies and dinners aren’t bad but the lunches are pathetic. However, I have noticed absolutely no weight loss and have only dropped maybe a half an inch from my waist. The results online are much better than mine. For the must part, I’m just happy with myself that I’m doing it because eating moderately healthy next week will seems so much easier once I know I can finish this fascist foodplan.
And yes, obviously M-Th are the only reasonable days for a diet that involves no booze.
I feel terrible for neglecting my tumblr. Okay, “terrible” is an exaggeration. Maybe more like “mildly bad but not really that bad”. Either way I’m back on! And I don’t have anything to talk about. Sorry. Except that I am going on this ridiculous four day diet tomorrow that not only sounds like rabbit food but also involves NO booze. So in true shameless fashion I’m going to post my weight and waist here (mind you, this is the last day before my diet so today I’ve had 1 bagel with cream cheese, 1 8” turkey sub, like 20 pita chips with a ton of hummus, 2 slices of pepperoni piza, and approximately 1.5 bottles of wine) and that way I will be held publicly accountable for the diet and we can see how well it goes.
Weight: 115 lbs
I’m 5’2” so I think that’s fairly average (though I’m no stranger to being called “curvy”) but it’s summer and I live in the desert so the least amount of clothes I can wear without being offensive, the better. That’s really the goal here.
It’s been so long!!! How have you been?!?
So today I pull into Circle K to pay my bimonthy fill-up bill that is now $60 (Eff you $4 gas prices) and this girl comes up to me. I, obviously, assume she was going to ask for cash, because I live in the real world, but she ended up, extremely awkwardly, asking me to buy her a gallon of milk for her daughter. Well, who am I to deny someone a $2 gallon of milk? She was SO weird about it though, it made me really uneasy. She assured me about 3 times that she wasn’t on drugs, and that she was waiting for a check from her mom, and that she wasn’t asking for money. For some reason she freaked me out but I didn’t want this girl to go without milk so I said I would. Then she asked for a can of Chef Boyardee. Sure. I tell her to come in with me and I’ll pay for her stuff. She ends up adding a bag of Cheetos but hey, who isn’t impulsed into buying Cheetos every once in a while? I just laughed and payed for it and sent her on her way. The thing is, I really wanted to like give her some cash or at least take her to a grocery store and buy her some real groceries, but she made me so uncomfortable I didn’t want to. And now I feel really bad because I didn’t help her more when all she was asking for was food. I didn’t even give her a ride home because she made me so uncomfortable, I wasn’t sure if this was just a ploy she was using to get into someone’s car.
Anyway, now I feel really bad because she probably didn’t have a ploy and just really didn’t have any money to buy food and I didn’t help her as much as I should have. I mean, if this was just a ploy, would she have really added on the Cheetos? I’m pretty sure food was all she was after, and I just let her walk home with her bag of shit and now I feel like a complete piece of shit for buying a stranger Cheetos. So if you’re out there, girl who asked another girl for milk today, I’m sorry for not giving you a ride home. I hope you enjoyed the Cheetos.
Does seriously nobody else think Vincent Kartheiser aka Pete Campbell is sexy? He looks like so fucking many of my ex boyfriends. By “so fucking many” I mean two but still I don’t think I’m the only woman on this planet who wouldn’t immediately kick him out of bed.